Oh my, this week's conversation has been all about adultery, and it's not pretty. I've been party to several conversations among friends - all married and all speaking with ambivalence - but all wondering why a woman would let her looks go south when she's married to a good-looking, powerful man. Powerful people are always magnets for the opposite sex.
Dr. Tammy Nelson (well-known relationship expert) wrote in the
Huffington Post, "President Clinton, former Senator John Edwards, Eliot Spitzer, former Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, and now the retired four-star general are all examples of men in power who publicly cheated on their spouses. And they stand in 'formation' along with the rest of us; more than 55% percent of Americans will cheat on their spouses at some point in their marriages."
Forget for a moment all the basics, like marriage vows, morality, the Bible, and basic decency. Just look at why the General might have strayed. That's been the gist of the conversations - along with sympathy for the whole family, especially the kids.
Holly Petraeus is shown in the top two photos above. Click on the photos to enlarge them if you can't see that she looks older than her 59 years. The comments? Her salt and pepper hair does not work for her, and her hair style is unstyled. The bronze-toned, old-fashioned glasses do not flatter her. She's overweight and has bad skin. The clothing? Matronly.
Now, here's a photo of the Petraeus family in the past. Doesn't she look darling? Her brown hair is flattering. A smile speaks a thousand words about this beautiful family.
Now, imagine the temptation. This gorgeous woman, Paula Broadwell, aged 40, the General's biographer, enjoyed tremendous access to him during the year they spent together in Afghanistan. With one blemish in this official photo above (which someone should have had Photoshopped), she's beautiful. She is dressed conservatively, and despite the similarity to the outfit worn above by Mrs. Petraeus, she looks great. Makeup, simple jewelry, and a gorgeous face. We're told she's brilliant. Brilliant men are often attracted to brilliant women. Oh, and some are attracted to bimbos. She's married too and the mother of two young children.
Here she is looking a bit more provocative. As his biographer, she spent a lot of time with the General. However and whenever it happened, they apparently fell in love (or lust). Why is anyone surprised? That's what my girlfriends are asking.
Their point has been that as we age, we need to remember that looking good is important. We have to work harder to take care of ourselves - whether married or not. There's plenty of research that shows that looks matter. I wonder if the General would have strayed if Mrs. Petraeus had tried to remain attractive - for him as well as herself.
I'm asking for comment because this story is all about beauty. Sordid? Yes. Controversial? Yes. If you try for a moment to forget your values, which is really hard to do, do you think what happened is related to beauty? I think it is. Dr. Nelson's analysis is a lot more primal.
As for the "socialite" below, she's where the story gets bizarre. The General should have been more careful about the company he kept.
Update 11/24: All comments about this feature are now being deleted. All of them. They do not belong in features about hair products or makeup. Whether the comments calling me names are from the same person (all anonymous, of course) or many, whether they are pro or con, they are getting old. For those of you still unrealistically clinging to your belief that the issue wasn't news, just Google Holly Petraeus Beauty.
Photos courtesy of foxnews, abc, examiner.com, and salon.com
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