My right knee and right hip decided to abandon me in unison today, and I found walking very painful. Not just difficult, painful, and anyone watching me walk could see I was having trouble. (I'm really glad I got that hip MRI. I'm actually hoping it will show that there is something wrong with my hip. You can replace hips. If it is referred pain from my degenerating spine, it will push me to make a decision about back surgery. That, however, is not directly relevant to this story.)
We arrived at the mall around 2:00 - not the wisest decision - but we were both busy in the morning (the safe time to go). The parking lot was already a contest, so my friend Kara dropped me off at the Nordstrom door and found a parking space. How did she do it? She saw a man walking toward his car and offered to give him a lift if she could have his parking space. Genius! I would have been looking for a suitable date, but she's happily married.
Kara met me at the Bobbi Brown counter, as we had arranged, where I was enjoying a touch-up by Vernon. Diron was at lunch. One of the two new Cheek Stains I thought were being held for me was already sold out, so we walked (limped?) down to Bloomies. I had to stop to get a pinaberry smoothie. Kara had iced tea. We were fortified. I got my Cheek Stain at Bloomingdale's. Kara checked out the Louis Vuitton boutique, where the most impressive sighting was a tall, model-thin, gorgeous blonde speaking Russian. She gave the whole place cachet.
Have you noticed that Bloomies gives you a choice of receiving your receipt via e-mail? I think that's terribly cool. I always lose track of receipts, but I never lose an e-mail.
The long walk from there down to Macy's, where we both had to return gifts that weren't given, was excruciating. Between my knee and hip, I was not up for dodging children running amok, rude people who had to walk five abreast, people who could not keep their distance (is a foot too much to ask?), and those who don't understand the keep-to-the-right "rule." By the time we got to Macy's, I thought I might need a stretcher to get back to the car. While I waited for Kara to return her purchases, I browsed the beauty department (of course). Macy's had set up mid-aisle displays that were plexiglass, impeding foot traffic around them and leaving a two-foot space between the displays and the counters. I was already in the space when a large, burly, and definitely rude man barged past me. What was I to do? Fall into the Clinique counter? I turned to my side, trying to avoid a chest to chest confrontation, but he kept coming. I must have had a snarl on my face because his polite companion (another man) stepped aside after seeing what his friend had done to me and waiting the two seconds for me to pass. This event surpassed all the times men have run over me "boarding" as I tried to get off an elevator. Chivalry? It's dead. Manners?
At least I had time to sit, recompose, and peruse the Dior Spring Collection before we headed back to Nordies. It was a slow walk, but anyone who didn't like it could go around us. I was walking as fast as I could.
Nordstrom should have been an oasis compared to the mall's "public areas," but it also was very crowded. The store is having its extravaganza men's sale, so the floor was busy. At least I could sit at Bobbi Brown and enjoy Diron's company for awhile. Kara and I also had a lovely late lunch at the café on the first floor. Not only sitting with a good friend, but also having a beer improved my mood. I used to love to shop! What has become of my hobby?
As we left for the car, Kara kindly left me at the door to walk the quarter mile to get her car. I watched people coming and going and was appalled. OK, now I know I'm too old - or something. I people watched. The get-ups on some of the teens were astounding. They looked like streetwalkers. Who let them leave home with those skin-tight clothes, like leggings with nothing to cover their posteriors? Why do teenaged boys need to waste the energy to pop the "disabled doors" to leave the store? Did no one teach them that we are supposed to conserve energy? Why did I feel my feet were in danger of being trampled as I sat and waited? I moved, walking out to the drive where Kara and I were to meet. From there, I watched the chaos in the parking lot. Cars everywhere, gridlocked, their owners looking for a parking space - any space - holding up all the cars behind them. One cowboy driving a large pick-up truck was notable. He looked like a character on one of those redneck shows that seem to have become popular. Somehow he turned that truck around in the middle of a drive lane, hindering traffic in all directions because he decided, I guess, that his chances of parking were better elsewhere. That left me wondering why the mall doesn't have the farthest sections reserved for trucks that don't belong in spaces measured out for cars.
It felt a lot better after writing all that out. Have you ever felt the same way? Did you brave a mall this week? Was everyone polite, well-behaved, and in the holiday spirit?
I found these photos today at workchic.com, where a shopper had similar experiences, perhaps without the pain. You can find her post at this link, explaining why she does all her shopping online now. I may be headed that way.
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33 comments:
I agree with you 100%. I have stopped shopping at the mall unless I absolutely have to. So many places offer free shipping that it's just not worth driving to the mall and dealing with the rudeness (customers and sales people alike!). I think this is just a bad time of year to go anywhere near a mall. After New Years, it will settle down once everyone goes back to work and school. FYI - Nordstrom and the Gap will email you a receipt as well.
Absolutely agree. I am a lawyer, as you may recall. I use a courthouse elevator. The language I hear! The f work constantly, and worse if you can believe it. I hear it from young and old. And when I do, I ask them to not use that word in front of me. But here's the worst: this week, after taking a side door exit by the local jail's bond lobby, here came 2 young girls looking like the street walkers you mention, using the f word, and one of them actually spit. Oh, the class. I see young women walking down the street, on a cell phone, using the f word, and calling some man about needing $ while a toddler trails her. What kind of a life is that child in for? I write letters to the editor daily, but only in my mind bc I am terrified to mail them. I am sad for our nation and for what we have become. I blame parents and public education. My state, Michigan, spends billions on public education, yet its high school graduates are not academically prepared for college. Gap years become gap lives. Parents want to be pals with their children rather than be parents. I fear for all of us. I read just yesterday that someone put a fake turtle in a roadway and watched as most motorists deliberately ran over it. When someone does that, they would not hesitate to mow you down in a store, Cg. God help all of us. And real turtles, too.
I moved from DC to Kansas City in July,(you might remember me as I worked with Estee Lauder, tall, curly hair) while I miss the great shopping I do not miss the traffic or rudeness
Your expierence, Charlestongirl, made me almost happy that the mall I frequent is such a dud. I could almost feel your hip pain(my left one isn't what it used to be) as I read through your plight. My mall has these terrible ceramic tile floors that just wear me out after shopping. We have "mall walkers" who go there to walk all times of the year. I often look at them and think "really?" I can't hardly handle shopping there let alone think about getting in a workout on those floors.
I haven't had any rude encounters at the mall of late, but my daughter has been yelled at by other customers twice last week. Why? The women wanted her to know that they loved her cobalt blue coat and wanted to know where she got it! So I guess you just yell "Hey" at someome and wait for them to turn around. What ever happened to being polite and saying "excuse me" to get someone"s attention?
That sounds horrific. People as individuals are often quite lovely. People in crowds, however, are disgusting.
Your description of the teenagers is interesting though: our LA teens sound a bit more, well, sophisticated than those in the DC area. Granted, I don't usually pay that much attention to the adolescent girls around me but they mostly seem like fully-clothed hipsters with heavy eye makeup and skinny boyfriends. Though they can be quite loud, I'll take them over your streetwalkers any day!
Happy Post Christmas, CG, and here's hoping that your hip and knee feel better.
Kmart/Sears does that too; receipt by email. But don't suppose you darken their doorways too often.
Yes, I did brave Macys, Lord & Taylor and Bloomingdales this holiday season and being in NYC and with sales basically I know there will be trouble. I try to cultivate patience (I do a lot of deep breathing otherwise I will lose my temper lol). I don't know what's wrong with people, I am very aware of the space around me and do my utmost not to knock people or things down and, I know it's shocking, I actually pick up anything I drop! I use "excuse me" and "please" yet it seems people are suddenly deaf and dumb. Maybe they were always dumb though. The worst experience was my sister's this year. She was in the dressing room trying on some clothes and realized someone had gone to the bathroom in the stall! Unbelievable and disgusting!
It's the holidays and I'm trying to get home and it's as if people have lost all the common sense & good manners that should be in their heads. 5 abreast walking blocking the sidewalk, blocking subway entrances and stairs while they're yapping on the cell phone, not moving to let you in or out of subway cars, trying to get on buses with big space-hogging bags of stuff, it goes on and on. Yes, that's when the cranky New Yorker in me comes out. I'm sorry to say CG that after I've used "please, excuse me" (more than once) and no one moves out of the way of the subway door, I have pushed my way in or out. I'm not small, you can't miss me and no, I can't pass through a 5" space to get off the train. *sigh* ok I got that off my chest. lol It really doesn't take much time to be courteous and makes things much more pleasant and in the spirit of the season!
On a lighter note, I'm on vacation this week so I can relax. I hope you will be feeling better too.
I feel your pain- literally, my hip- ugh! I did all of my shopping online this year to avoid exactly what you described. I drive by Tyson's occasionally, usually around the holidays, when taking my son to/from school. I live on the Eastern Shore in MD, and the traffic in NoVA tends to make me very grumpy. I don't know how you do it!
I absolutely refuse to go to the mall after Thanksgiving; heck, I won't even go to Target or other such stores unless I'm there when they open. I hate crowds and rude people, which is what comes out this time of year. I did all of my shopping online. I do want to say that I really appreciate your work here on the blog: your swatches make it so easy to avoid stores. Thank you!
I am so sorry that you had to go through that experience. I never go shopping because I seriously fear for my safety; both mental and physical. As a child and a young lady, I shopped with my sisters in Sam Francisco where their was an I Magnins, a City of Paris and smaller stores such as Lanz and JAG that valued all their customers, no matter how much you spent. Actually, yesterday must have been the day for obnoxious people because there was a family with 7 young children at my gym's indooe pool and they were screaming and throwing the simming gear into the water. The Mother did nothing. I was bonked in the head and I said to the child, "knock it off." ANd his brother started flinging water from the spa at me. I left and I said to the Mother, "Do you realize that other people are using this pool too?" She said, "They're kids." I was fuming; she never said I'm sorry or pardoned her children.
Blaming public education for a child's bad behavior is an excuse. Many of us were educated at public schools and have manners and lead productive lives. The home, where children spend the other 17 hours of their day is where civil behavior is learned. If education is not valued in the house, then the child will not take it seriously. For example, if a child brings home a poor grade on a spelling test, the parents have to make sure the child's HW is done and done well. The parents need to tell the child that an F is not a good grade, but the child can do better next time. And the parent needs to help them do it. If the parent does not know how, their is an abundance of free instruction. Frankly, the parent has to care. There are many decent schools in poor neighborhoods as well as bad. The difference is that parents are required to be involved.
There are private schools were the students are mini drug lords and the worst drug abusers I have seen in all of my years of educating. They steal their parents Rx drugs and sell them and then turn around and buy what they want. The drinking is excessive because the parents go away for the weekend and the liquor is not locked up. HS kids will sell their parent hard alcohol.The viscious bullying by the girls makes the housewives look like angels, Every type of education has the good and the bad. Blanket statements are not helpful.
My spelling is awful! I apologize...my passion over rode my editor!
Oh, how I feel for you! I have all but given up on malls. I am in Canada and I find them crowded with rude people (who do not seem to see me. At just only slightly over five feet, I suppose that I may be missed. But really!) There is no longer a concept of personal space, like you point out. And that is to say nothing of how much customer service has deteriorated. I have become quite comfortable with on-line and distance shopping.
I just don't go to a mall this time of year. At all. And unfortunately, people are terribly rude all year long...especially young people whose parents are probably rude as well. It's not the schools' fault - public or private - they are not responsible to teach children how to behave! I taught my children how to conduct themselves around others...I guess it's too much to expect some others to do the same!
I totally feel your pain of going to Tyson's Corner yesterday. It was just awful looking for a parking spot near Nordstrom.. I circled and circled and found nothing even though people were leaving. Drivers were just insane for any parking spot near the store and would creep behind people until the driver realized the car the shopper was going to get into. So I opted for a spot near Bloomingdales. There was a lady in a Mercedes already there... She put her signal on when she saw people getting into their car... Another man drove right up next to her and started yelling at her, using the B and F words.. Mind you he had his daughter, who looked like a teen, in the car with him. He blocked the people who were trying to leave from getting out of the parking space. I too got engaged in this parking fight and he yelled at me to move so that he could go around. He was awful. Luckily the lady in the Mercedes got the spot and I got one right next to her... we both talked for a bit and just couldn't believe the utter nastiness of this man, with his daughter watching, all for a parking spot. I truly do not enjoy going to mall on the weekends anymore. If I do go, I will go after work... otherwise, I LOVE LOVE LOVE the Web!
My comment got so long, I had to split it into two, maybe three.
Hi all,
I fixed my typo - sorry. When you write in the heat of passion, you sometimes miss letters in words. :)
I must say, Anonymous, that most of the sales people were nice to use that day. I've had worse, much worse. I have to blame yesterday's experience on the customers (or lurkers).
Nemo, I don't know who is raising half America's teenagers. I've been known to use the "f" bomb now and then, but it's usually not in public.
Tracy, of course I know who you are. Where have you been?
LOL, grlnxdor, if the worst thing that happened to me was someone yelling "hay" to compliment me, I'd leave with a cat's grin on my face.
For the reasons you state, Charleston Girl, I tend to avoid malls altogether except at times when I am sure to get a parking space and not have to deal with crowds. Living in busy and congested California, I am fortunate enough to have a short, nearly non-existent commute. Over the years I have turned more and more to online shopping for the product selection and convenience. For a time I lived about a mile from Nordstrom and Neiman Marcus and Bloomingdale's, so I could bicycle to the mall and not have to fight for a parking spot. Now that I live further away from the shops, I think of online shopping as a time and gas-saver.
I am a Torontonian by birth and upbringing. I have to say that I don't totally agree with the Canadian reader Melanie. Canadians are, by and large, extremely polite. Yes, Toronto is a big city, so etiquette isn't often on everyone's front burner, but I am impressed with the general decency and kindness that I come across when I return to my home country.
I do hope you get some relief and feel better. Hope that MRI points doctors in the right direction. Happy New Year to all! Hope Sir Charlie is feeling like his usual cat self.
Thanks, Elizabeth, you must have a more fashion-forward culture than we do. I saw one young couple that astounded me. He was maybe 17, skinny as a rail, pasty pale, and was wearing a white muscle shirt. He looked ridiculous because it was cold out. He had violet hair. I'd kill my kid (the one I don't have) if she came home with violet hair. And talk about multiple piercings? I don't mean on their ears.
Sears, Donna, for Land's End. I had a bad experience there last week with an SA who was actively spreading her malady. I left, but must go back tomorrow to return a sweater for Mom. God help me if that woman hasn't gone home to rest. I do not shop at Walmart, primarily because there is not one inside the beltway - yet. I hear they are building one at Tysons. I'll go there to save money if it's a nice one.
Evelyn, you reminded me of the young girls I held the door for today. Yes, I had to go back today because my BB buds gave me one wrong product. I heard them behind me, specifically held the door for them, and not one said anything, not thanks, not anything even more gracious - and they had to see I was limping.
Amy, our traffic has worsened exponentially, while our local politicians continue to approve more growth. Despite citizen appeals for common sense, we get rolled over on every issue. By building rail to Tysons, with no parking, where will all those people park? I think I will approach the mall owners with copyrighted parking strategies.
CGirl, me too. Getting to a store when they open is my shopping MO. I sat on the doorstep at Hermès last weekend, waiting for their 10:00 am opening. Didn't realize that their thick mat was wet. Got up with a wet bum. Was a bit uncomfy, so I went home to change after that.
You know, Vanessa, those families were probably influenced by the child-raising theories that go something like this: Let your child explore to learn the bounds of social behavior. It's not your problem to teach them. They will be better people for testing the boundaries and learning first-hand. That excuse from mothers, "They're kids," means they assume that hyperactive, unruly, and annoying behavior is acceptable as long as it comes from someone under three feet tall. Unfortunately, those brats grow up to be five feet tall, without much insight.
Message to people with young children in nice restaurants: Force them to stay seated, modulate their tone of voice (no screeching), speak to servers politely, and only interrupt the table next door if spoken to first. Wouldn't that be nice?
We've all learned to read past typos. :) We've had plenty of practice.
When I sent back today, with the handicapped pass, it was just as chaotic. No reserved spots were available, so I followed a woman to her car. She had given me a rough of how far we'd go. I got her pretty decent space and went into Nordies to do my product switch. Tried again to interest myself in Dior's gimmicky spring purse palette. Failed again. Left pretty quickly and made it out of the mall with help from a police officer, who got out of his car and directed the flow of traffic when he saw that the road was quickly becoming a trap. God bless the Fairfax County Police!
From there, I went to Petco, where all was calm, and then to pick up a burger at a new joint called Burger 7. Never again. I got home with a burger cooked to medium only - against FDA recommendations, so basically I had no dinner. I hope the crows or fox will enjoy it in the morning. Oh, but those chocolate-covered figs were delicious.
Is it overpopulation? It is growth for which we are not prepared? Are we teaching the right things to children and immigrants? How can we blend our selves more amicably into a society that works for everyone? How should we design communities that are less dependent on cars, while acknowledging that cars are essential to the way we live in places as spead out as Farifax County - and the influx of DC and Maryland residents who join us for shopping, eating, movies, and other entertainment each weekend.
Me? I'm planning to invent a self-powered wheelchair that has short-range rocket launchers - one either side. Not sure what will fill those launchers - red dye? The chair might play music - some catchy tune warning those who get too close that there are consequences. That should get me through the aisles. Heck, if the yahoos in Fairfax County can carry guns on their belts or the little old ladies can carry guns hidden in their purses, what would be wrong with my rocket launchers? :)
Tell us about the time you wanted to seek revenge!
Walls, Sir Charles is better, thanks!
If you owned a mall - let's all think about this - how would you keep your customers from deserting your mall for online shopping? Someone better be working on the next best thing.
Sorry, Walls, but to live here day in and day out, one would see that Canadians no longer really fit that "extremely polite" stereotype!
My husband was transfered to Kansas City, so I am here for a few years. Love to read your blog so I know what is current, while KC is pretty and the people are exceptionally nice it is not the fashion and shopping mecca.
Melanie, I understand how you feel. It wasn't that long ago that I did live in Canada. Since moving a couple of years ago to the US, I now notice small things about Canadians that I used to take for granted! I'm a child of the '80s, and I know Canada has changed a lot in my lifetime. With urban growth, people tend to get less patient and more demanding. I have many friends and acquaintances who have fits of subway rage when faced with rude fellow commuters. You have my sympathies, truly.
Hi CG, my complete sympathies on your (literally) painful mall visit. I too dread going to Tysons on weekends/holidays because of the awful parking situation.
If I may offer a tip? If I find that the parking garage next to Nordstrom is filled, I immediately head over to the parking garage next to Macy's, the one that leads into the women's shoes section (and the beauty section!) on the second floor. (Since I don't typically shop at Macy's, I don't know what else they have on their other floors. :) For some odd reason, even on truly horrendous parking days, that parking garage is usually half empty.
I'll keep my fingers crossed for your hip and spine!
As a rural Canadian, my experiences with large shopping malls are on an irregular basis, usually after a lot of driving. I now only go if I am visiting one of my brothers OTTAWA or Toronto) and can have an overnight prior. I do take my very active 10 year old with me sometimes and again as a parent it is my responsiblity to try to gaugehow he will be able to ,manage, after a 4-5 hr drive I dont realistically expect the best behaviour in malls. However he is getting older and if a trip is organized HALT Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired I expect him to behave, he knows how!! The HALT acronym was one I learned early in my Social Work education and has served me well in all areas of life, after all we are all suseptible to it, differing degrees, differing maturity levels. I have had times when my son has behaved horribly but feweer than not, split parenting presents its own challenges as well. Anyway off topic, bottom line little boys arent very interested in makeup and the beast to do is leave him with aunt or uncle, cousins and set off. Online is becoming much more accessible, used to be vry limited in Canada, and your posts will help tremendously with ordering, gotta love progress! Hapy New Year all.
Oh dear! I've been reading all your horror stories and shudder. Fortunately, where I live people are friendly and pretty laid back--even at Costco! :-) Because I'm retired, I don't bother with the shops or markets on weekends. I can shop at any time so why add to the weekend crush? Our local mall has plenty of parking and shuttles run regularly to help ferry people to and from the lots. They're not only a great convenience, but they also make it safer for shoppers. No one has to worry about being mugged while lugging packages to their car or being hit by a distracted driver trying to find a parking space. Although school is out and the mall is filled with exuberant young people any day of the week, there's nothing wild or crazy going on. They just seem to be kids out for a good time. As for the little ones, I've seen some crankiness and a tantrum now and then, but the parents seem to have it under control. I guess I just live in a very civilized neck of the woods--knock on wood!
Something I must say, though, is that no shopping trip is pleasurable when a person is in pain. I have chronic migraines and severe arthritis in both hands and wrists. Protracted physical pain can be demoralizing and can really lower a person's tolerance and diminish their patience. On bad days, I just don't put myself in situations where I'm going to be bombarded by people. I just don't.
Here's wishing all of you a wonderful, safe, and Happy New Year!
Oh, dear, that sounds like a trying experience. I haven't seen the local mall that crowded but drivers turn pretty awful during the holidays. People not holding doors for each other is one of my pet peeves. When I am not thanked, I usually say loudly "You are welcome."
One rude encounter at Costco where to women in line ahead of me let somebody cut in line behind them instead of in front of them. Very strange :)
Happy new year and good health.
Tanja
I hear you. I was about to say all that happened on Saturday did happen because of the Full Moon. No way, it's the full moon that is the blame. The manners, behavior and moral in society is declining. And so fast, you can consider this almost warp speed. It is not only "me first", it is "me first" no matter at what cost for the other person involved. seems to me people just go as far as I can probably until someone is really fed up. And to say it more graphic is about to hit that person one way or the other. I see this lack in behavior daily on public transportation. with almost 4 hours in total on the trains there is more than I can handle. young people, at least the majority clearly shows a lack in manners. even some people my age (I am 49) are beyond good and bad. Who told them it is okay to put your dirty shoes on the opposite seat when you are on the train? My parents never told me that. I expect people in my generation to show behavior. Seems I am wrong. Online shopping will not only be the kiss of death to brick and mortar store because of the prices they have. sometimes much lower than in the stores because of coupons everywhere on the net. but people will stay at home in their comfort zone. not being bothered by bad behavior, being bothered by BO and other "nice unwanted smells" and so on. At home I can shop relaxed, have a cuppa, dont need to fear that some person will step on my feet, try to kiss my behind and come so close that I can feel their breath in my neck. or even bump into me on purpose or not on purpose. whatever the motive is I dont care, it bothers me. The downside is that even a very good swatch does not reflect the color a 100%. My two cents on that. I prefer to see the colors at the counter. in their light and in daylight. Which is possible over here at Douglas. I just ask them for permission to take the tester outside and I am usually accompanied by a security guy. Which I dont mind. Obviously people steal testers too. Before I start ranting on how poor I think this is "to steal a tester or even to test the merchandise instead of the tester" I better stop and go to the PO to pick up my packages.
Cg, the best of New Year's to you and Charlie and all your beloveds. Yours is the best beauty blog out there.
Ditto to all that! Teens need to be told that leggings are not pants and not terribly flattering either! And why can't men let a lady pass or hold the door? Or how about a simple thank you if I hold it for you? Lord have mercy. I try to keep my own manners and not let others lack if get to me (um, and give me the strength to accept those things I cannot change?) but IT IS HARD.
I'm surprised Tyson's doesn't offer Valet Parking- or better yet a parking shuttle. At Bellevue Square and Southcenter up here in the Seattle area they offer the Valet service. Nordstrom downtown Seattle also has valet parking and the garage across the street from Nordstrom downtown, Pacific Place.
I hope you get your hip fixed my mom is recovering from hip replacement. All the best
I bought Maestro based on your recommendation and it has CHANGED MY LIFE!! Thanks for your work on your blog, I really enjoy reading it every day, and Happy New Year from one Southern Lady to another.
*This* is precisely why I didn't do any shopping in the week following Christmas.
I truly hope you can find some lasting relief and pain management strategies for your knee and back issues. Good on you for recognizing that it would be too much for you to walk back to the car, and kudos to friend as kind as Kara for collecting the car and braving the parking lot traffic once more. I'm hoping to get into the rehab/therapy field (my passion, but I've allowed life to interrupt my studies) so this topic is close to my heart.
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